Monday, 25 April 2011

The Phone Call

What a lovely day! We are all very bubbly, despite the lateness of the hour, as we drive home. I've spent the day with Besty, Mad Dog, our wives and children. We have eaten too much, spent too long in the sun, even played some rugby with the kids, and now it's off to Chez RRD, and then to pack the kids off to bed.

My phone is ringing. We are in Mrs RRD's car, so the Bluetooth remains inoperable, and by the time I have wrested it out of my pocket, and passed it to Mrs RRD, it has stopped. We wait for a few seconds, and sure enough my other phone starts its insistent ringing. I am just parking up, so grab the phone and answer the call from Ambulance Control. A stabbing victim awaits me. I open the door to the house and usher the waiting hordes in. Mini RRD keeps asking me what the call is - I know that if Mrs RRD knows I am on the way to a stabbing she will worry, so I blank him, and rush out to my waiting car.

Damn! I have been out in the garden all day, and when I slip off my trainers to change into my boots, the sight of my naked feet is a reminder that I haven't got any socks on. Oh well, no time to waste. They'll just have to rub a bit.

I arrive at the address I have been given. It's all very dark. I can see a few police cars (phew!) and an ambulance, but there are no blue flashing lights, and, while there are quite a few people milling around, none of them are in uniform. Hmmm. It's not just Mrs RRD that is worried this time. I am the first to admit that I am a coward. I will avoid danger, and never walk into a difficult situation.

So, I could sit here, and wait for someone to come and get me. But that does seem a little silly. So, I put my blues on, and sit and wait for someone to pop their head out of the back of the ambulance, and beckon me in. It was only a few seconds, but I wasn't getting out of my car until I knew where I was going.

There are quite a few people in the ambulance. There are two ambulance crew, and a paramedic off of the car. There are two police officers. There is Dave - seeing as he is the one lying on the ambulance trolly, his clothes soaked in blood, I thought he might be my patient. It wasn't all that obvious, as he was on the phone! Not many people who need my attention at midnight are chatting away on the phone, you see. But Dave was.

"Hello, Dave! I'm RRD, a doctor."

"F*** off! I'm on the phone!" replied Dave.

"Yes, I can see that, but I can also see you are bleeding, and in need of medical attention" I countered, helpfully.

"When I have completed this conversation with my dear mother, then I will be happy for you to attend to my chest wound, kind Sir". Or words to that effect.

We all wait patiently, while Dave relates the evening's events to his mother, before dealing with the very well spoken patient.

I do love being appreciated!

1 comment:

  1. What a selfish basket.

    I fully support the boys & girls in blue, but did this (what's the word I'm after...rhymes with twit?)....have to talk to another trained professional in such a manner?

    You're too kind RRD and in your position on another day, I'd have told Warren Anker to carry on bleeding (....hang on, that sounds like a film title!).

    Alternatively, the phone could have been confiscated, as the microwave radiation eminating from the handset, would cause the size 26 knitting needle you were about to use to stitch this fool up (blood oozing from his body), to have an unknown malfunction...."oh dear chief, your handset has fallen onto the floor and I've just rolled the gurney over it".

    Hope when you got home tho', that your feet weren't stuck to the boots?? At least you were always taught to have a clean hanky and a fresh pair of pants on, when you went out....they're far more important!