Wednesday, 20 May 2009


I look ahead with a sinking heart; the traffic on the motorway is stationary. I'm used to this when the incident is on the motorway, but I have many miles to go before I get to the 5 year old boy pinned to a wall by a Range Rover in CountrySchool. As a result of the road works there is no hard shoulder for me to race down, so I don my "Moses" beard and staff, sit on the line between middle and fast lane, and watch as a new lane is formed, just for me.

It's slow going, as cars in the two lanes next to mine work out what it is I need them to do. My wing mirrors are retracted to give me extra manoeuvring ability. I spot in my rear mirror a motorcyclist, taking full advantage of my passage, trailing me in my wake.

Good, my junction. I indicate left and slow, searching for a way through. Suddenly; Bang!!! What have I hit?? I look around me, and see the motorcycle, attached to my rear bumper. I jump out, spitting tacks, and rush round to the rear of my beloved vehicle. The cylist is still sitting on his bike, looking rather sheepish. "You braked a bit fast, didn't you?" Wrong move, matey. I make it quite clear to said biker that I didn't really have time for discussion about the finer points of slipstreaming emergency vehicles. I also explain to him that he is very lucky that my vehicle is still driveable, as I have to get going. I whip out a piece of paper and a pen, and get his details, photograph his bike (and him - not getting caught this time) and prepare to leave.

"What about me? What about my bike?" I look closely; he's breathing. Good enough for me.

to be continued...


  1. What a complete muppet, I seriously hope that the motorcyclist wasting your time didn't have a detrimental effect on the poor child that needed your help!

  2. Muppet isn't the word I used about him. He was about 50 years old, and I kept calling him "Sonny Jim", which, when I think about it, must have been rather confusing for him - I'm somewhat younger than he is...

  3. When do people relise that slipstreaming EV's is not a good idea!? It will cause accidents like this, and most likely other road users who have the decency to wait, get road rage as he tails you through the traffic! Phew...After that rant, I hope the child is Ok? I remember something like that happening at a school near where I used to live, however I cannot remember the outcome.

  4. What about your bike? Oh, just haul it to the side of the road and get it out of the way. You'll have time to do that before traffic starts again. About you? The police will deal with you as soon as I deal with the child pinned in the emergency -I- was going to. They will probably give you a free ride into town, too.

  5. Haha 'Sonny Jim'! For what you lack in age you make up for in knowledge and common sense, something Sonny Jim clearly is devoid of!