I've decided. I'm not a morning person. Especially 3am. That's not really morning, is it? That's still night time, isn't it? Ok, then, I'm definitely not a night-time person.
This is an unusual comment to hear from a chap who regularly jumps out of bed at 3am, drives at ridiculous speeds, and makes life-altering (hopefully -saving) decisions. I do all of those things, and, I hope, do them rather well.
What I find difficult is biting my tongue. When well-meaning, worried family members ask me questions in the middle of the day, I try hard to alleviate their fears, empathise with their need to know, and help them deal with the difficult decisions that are being made around them.
At 3am, when I am asked if a drug I am considering using to sedate a man to help get him down a steep set of stairs has any side effects, I answer "Yes, but they're better than just leaving him here all night." Not the most empathetic comment I have made in my life.
But it could have been worse. When same family member asks me if the neurosurgical centre I have chosen for their beloved is the best choice, I don't say, "no, I just chose it because it is near to where I live, and I'll be able to get back to bed quicker." I simply say, "yes."
Maybe I can cope with 3am's after all!
11 months ago