You may have noticed I haven't written for a while. There is a good reason for this. I have been to a job so difficult, one of the hardest I have done in my 10 years as a pre-hospital care doctor, and yet one so unique that to write about it in any way would breach the confidentiality that is so important to all. The family, with whom I spent such a long time at the hospital, don't want anyone to know about what really happened at the house, and, to be honest, I don't blame them.
So, where do I go with this? How do I move forward, writing about the "simple" jobs, those that don't touch my heart as this one has? I'm not sure, to be honest. I worry that the images of what I have seen will seep through into my posts about the "ordinary", as they have been seeping into my waking and sleeping thoughts. MrsRRD, as always, has been a tower of strength; understanding what only she can. And, holding my children, one at a time or all together, is a balm around my heart.
And, if this is how I feel, what must the family be feeling? I cannot begin to comprehend how any family can rebuild after such an event as this. And yet rebuild they must. They have to go about their daily lives; school, work, shopping, living, even though their lives have been shattered.
I know this all seems so cryptic to you, dear Constant Reader. Thank you for reading, thank you for letting me offload to you, in the only way I can.
11 months ago