Monday 20 June 2011

Difficult

You may have noticed I haven't written for a while.  There is a good reason for this.  I have been to a job so difficult, one of the hardest I have done in my 10 years as a pre-hospital care doctor, and yet one so unique that to write about it in any way would breach the confidentiality that is so important to all.  The family, with whom I spent such a long time at the hospital, don't want anyone to know about what really happened at the house, and, to be honest, I don't blame them.

So, where do I go with this?  How do I move forward, writing about the "simple" jobs, those that don't touch my heart as this one has?  I'm not sure, to be honest.  I worry that the images of what I have seen will seep through into my posts about the "ordinary", as they have been seeping into my waking and sleeping thoughts.  MrsRRD, as always, has been a tower of strength; understanding what only she can.  And, holding my children, one at a time or all together, is a balm around my heart.

And, if this is how I feel, what must the family be feeling?  I cannot begin to comprehend how any family can rebuild after such an event as this.  And yet rebuild they must.  They have to go about their daily lives; school, work, shopping, living, even though their lives have been shattered.

I know this all seems so cryptic to you, dear Constant Reader.  Thank you for reading, thank you for letting me offload to you, in the only way I can.

3 comments:

  1. It's cryptic only on in the cause, not in the effect. I'm sorry that you're going through this, and at the same time thankful there are people like you who do the hard job. Thank you. Write when you can--until then, heal as best you can.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry. I know just what you mean.

    One option might be to write about it, and then not post it or something?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I seldom write about the truly tragic calls, those are mine, and the family and friends who survived. Maybe it's better that way, when I write a story the memories go deeper, and never go away.

    ReplyDelete